my manifestation story – then vs. now

Sure, I’m writing this…

… from my dream live edge dining room table 😍
… next to my soulmate 😚
… on our farmstead 🐑
… with a view of the puget sound 🌊
… and the Cascade mountain range 🏔 (because the universe never fails to amaze me)

But it wasn’t always this way.

What you don’t see are the years of subconscious work I’ve put in to get here. I mean it when I say that I’ve truly reprogrammed my brain, and I want to share my story.

then

Let me paint a picture for you.

It’s of me, laying on the linoleum that made up my bathroom floor, eyes swollen from crying for multiple days in a row, anxiety-ridden, heartbroken, nervous system worked up to the max, unable to work, completely blind to seeing the bigger picture, and sad. Very, very sad. To add to it, there was a layer of guilt on top of the sadness – I shamed myself for feeling sad when all I wanted to do was be happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for hitting that rock bottom. After all, we humans came to this planet to experience a spectrum of emotions. And I’d do it all over again knowing that sadness will most definitely be one of them.

Manifestation was the last thing on my mind at this point.

the in-between

From my lowest point, I damn near crawled out of the metaphorical grave I had dug for myself.

When I couldn’t get out of bed, I started reading psychology, neuroscience, and manifestation books in between naps and crying sessions.

When I didn’t think I had the energy to feed myself, I started with a simple smoothie every morning to kickstart my day.

When I was incapable of completing a single workout, I would spend 5 minutes on my yoga mat each morning. To be honest with you, sometimes child’s pose was all I could muster up the energy for.

When I dreaded being alone with my thoughts, I meditated for a single minute and called it a day.

What I’m referring to is the art of taking baby steps, the art of starting small. I’m sure it’s a philosophy you’ve heard many times before, and it’s so simple that it’s easy to dismiss. But it’s those very baby steps that eventually add up to one full step. And perhaps it’s those very steps that eventually lead you around a corner. And around the corner, you begin to catch glimpses of your dream life far out in front of you. And as that desire encourages you to continue moving forward, eventually your baby steps add up to a mile.

Taking things one day at a time, even one moment at a time, was the only way I was able to pull myself out of the big ol’ slump I was in.

Once I began creating some healthy tiny habits, I started to nourish myself in a way that I never had before – really limiting what I allowed in, on, and around my body. From food to skincare products to the books I’d read or the podcasts I’d listen to.

From there, my life began to shift in all the best ways.

Instead of the negative energy I had been putting out, I started exuding positive energy & love. Sure, it came in bursts at first, and it didn’t last long, but that didn’t matter. The rush I’d get from operating as pure love made it all worth it, even if it was only for a few minutes at a time.

I stumbled across many healing modalities that really carried me through this time, not only to calm my nervous system and allow more light into my life, but also to tear down the subconscious limiting beliefs that were holding me back from my dream life.

It wasn’t that I needed to “find myself” at all; I needed to shed the layers that no longer served me and allow my authentic self to shine through.

helpful healing techniques

• Meditation
• Yoga
• Affirmations
• Shadow work
• Talk therapy
• EMDR therapy
• EFT tapping
• Breathwork

What it all came down to is that eventually, I surrendered.

I let myself cry until I couldn’t cry anymore. I removed that additional layer of guilt that I was feeling on top of the sadness and allowed myself to be… sad.

Yes, it was uncomfortable, but only because I’ve been conditioned to “feel better” to “just be happy” and to push away any emotions that are labeled as “bad.”

And once I allowed the sadness to truly wash over me, with no guilt attached, the sadness evaporated into thin air. The truth is that human emotions don’t last very long. Take a toddler for example, they’ll often be upset about something and shortly after be giggling like nothing ever happened.

It’s the shame and guilt wrapped inside the emotion that causes negative energy to get stuck in the body, trapped if you will.

now

I am without a doubt living my dream life thanks to manifestation and reprogramming my subconscious mind. I wake up every day and realize it, and it still moves me to tears multiple times per week. The only thing I can do is put my hand on my heart and say “thank you, thank you, thank you. show me how it gets better.” In fact, I’ve been doing just that for the past few months, and the universe continues to deliver. ✨

To Be Magnetic

I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t mention a key factor in my own manifestation journey – TBM. To Be Magnetic is what taught me the extremely valuable skill of reprogramming my limiting beliefs. It’s a service that I willingly pay for simply because it’s done so much good in my life. I highly recommend it for anyone looking to connect with their deepest desires.

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